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One Craaazy Party

That You're All Invited To

10/5/06 01:53 pm

there are just those times in your life, times where all of those intangible things start to move. Its a time in your life when you can feel the motion, the hesitation, the uncertainty, the hurt, the clouds illusions if you will.

its a time to re-examine focus, grasp what you want but leave your palm open. hmmm, im puzzled.

CAPAP comes today! still have no idea what were gonna be doing but oh well, its gonna be pure randomness! i think i might go home if i have time this weekend, just relax and loaf out for a while.

wow, so apparently rona ambrose (environment minister) says that climate change is not among the top environmental priorities for canadians noting that we care most about air quality.... stupid conservatives!

c'est tout!

10/4/06 02:08 pm - the joys of messing thing up aka story of my life

first off, i got to see that special someone last night and had a great time, til disaster struck :( Meh, i guess ive come to relaize that all good things in life have their obstacles, big or small. Im in line for a bank teller thats on lunch and well, theyre the sweetest person in the world. Im the mastermind of indirectly messing things up, but i dunno i still feel like this is different. anyway, i sold a piece this morning! it was two little pyramids for $300 im quite happy!


this is the only thing that can descirbe it now... and i know that most ppl dont like this song lol!

I love the tone that's in your laugh
Gasping for an extra breath
Waiting for the time to pass
I believe in days ahead
Don't spend another night alone
Cross and wishing you were dead

Mary, you shouldn't let it make you mad
You hold the best you can,
And Mary, after all the pain is gone
I'm always gonna live to be your man

ooh...ohhh

I've had it easy now you see
When I'm down you're always there
Standing by to comfort me
Someday we'll go round the world
I'll make the journey so sublime
I know you're not a travelling girl

Mary, you shouldn't let it make you mad
You hold the best you can,
And Mary, after all the pain is gone
I'm always gonna live to be your man

ohhhh ohhhh

Cos I'd give everything I have
forget all the things that bring me joy
You could have one day of pure and simple happiness
Until that moment comes
I'll be here where I've always been
I'm gonna be your friend
Until the day I die

Mary, you shouldn't let it make you mad
You hold the best you can,
And Mary, after all the pain is gone
I'm always gonna live to be your man

its gonna be a super busy weekend... that is all

9/30/06 09:05 am - update because u wanted it ;)

okkkk, so the first 3 weeks of school are done already and i feel like ive been here for a bout 5 days... Ive made so many bolws and plates and mugs that i just wish i didnt have to keep making them for then next 4 weeks. Its been a great learning experience tho, ive been able to get on the wheel everyday. Ive gotten a lot more patient probably thanks to Tony who has been an amazing teacher.

The 1st years are pretty rockin so far and im really happy ive gotten to know a couple of them. As for rez life... BOOOOOOOOORING, theres no one to talk to and ppl are all drama, they also knock on ur door at 3:30 am to bother you. My non studio classes are alright, although photography is pointless so far and my design process class is just Heidi on painkillers talking about nothing.

I definately miss my mom on occasion and havent been home yet, which is weird for me actually... i havent actually been away from home this long, not even when i went to carleton.

Im getting a tattoo next weekend!!! a coy on my tricep with alex's name included.

sooo, random but i was reading the toronto star this morning, since i work 7-3 today and have nothing to do.... aaaaaand, apparently Michaelle Jean is having a distant relationship with the government. She also hosted a dinner for Karzi where diplomatic issues were discussed (a big no no if ur head of state) so we'll see if her charm worked it on the afganies.

whhhaaat else? well someone i think is special (not that kind of special) just walked back into my life.... nuff said ;)

on the horizon? concerts like crazy! tattoo, and more excitment in the studio!

9/9/06 08:50 pm - Recap le summer

probably the craziest summer of my life... a lot to talk about. The general pointform then ramble.

-Started at bluenotes
-Ottawa Canada day
-Falling out with team MM
-Came out!
-Ottawa week
-Chad Brenda and Marcie #1 <--- awesome times!
-Move #11
-Bday extravaganza's
-RIP alex dobbins
-Move #12 to sheridan

so, thats the general what have yous of the summer. Major relaizations include keeping your friends close, cause u could loose them at any minute. Alex Dobbins died suddenly in a car accident and even 10 days later, im still pretty much in shock. After 15 years of being that close to someone, people start to go their seperate ways... dont let them, theres a joy in every life. Ive come to learn the drama of the gay man. Everyone knows everyone and well, its just a sex filled world, to be honest, i think its kinda sick. I wouldnt mind a boyfriend, one that only wants to be with me... one that isnt an ass, or full of themselves... but of course thats yet to be found. Being out has been cool tho, its been nice to have a sense of freedom finally. Although ive been out to ppl here and there for about 5 years now, it was just kinda time to let go. After going through hell year in university, the coke, the cuts, the hospital, the depression... all of that... this didnt seem like something to loose sleep over anymore. For the most part everyone has been nothing but amazing about it, which i thank you all for... and i of course thank pat for showing me its ok to be yourself.

so, life in rez has started again... and my general stupidness for bad impressions has returned. i dunno love some of the ppl ive met so far, the two stacies one of which is my next door neighbour are really cool, theyre just really polite which i think is key. Drew a guy down the hall is also really nice and genuine, a good carribean hospitality vibe. my roomate trevor is awesome! really nice chill guy. Even though theres only 2 more days im absolutely dying for the studio! i miss it so much, i have so much negative energy ready to pump into my work, hopefully i can turn a lot of tears into some awesome work!

im just pumped for shows, friends, life... and hopfully the ability to be able to open up to some ppl and make some great friends

from the former room of greg peel
-marcel

7/17/06 04:23 pm - whats with the return?

LJ became my place of solace where i saw no one update for about 5 months except the amazing kai... now everyones bored of their myspace and facebook... the summer bordem brought u back eh?!! OUCH! LJ is not happy with ur occasional love!

well, im still realing from my little bip to ottawa for canada day, some great new ppl and my first weekend to be completely free, it was really nice.

hmmmm, this weekend its back to the Oblog for some goodbyes to jesse and erin before they run off to europe! im quite excited!

c'est tout pour maintenant

7/4/06 02:49 pm - Le canada day jour du

okay, some point form summation followed by a ramble of my crazy mind

friday
-dallas yet again.. new song is amazing!
-arrive l'ottawa and sleep


saturday
-downtown
-get to see michaelle = my canadian idol
-americans ask me whats up with the 21 gun salute
-eris puking on the deck
-little shindig at ryanns
-pier 21... eric dunn, dorchester folk.. the cute insulting girl
-fireworks with team oshawa
-ryanns and paddys with tara w
-wedges
-randomness lol
-bus trip back
-alexs
-babylon
-random bar w/cpap a la puke
-erin and i getting denied from the gay club cause we werent hot gay men
-fat tuesdays
-5am poutine and walk w/chad
-falling asleep in my cab

ramble=later im tired

6/7/06 01:53 am - this shit's weird yo

well, we all know my mind operates like im from some other world, so hes the deal. A couple minutes ago i was sitting at my computer reading some mental illness stuff so i can educate myself more and i felt like i was about to be sucked into my computer... actually. it was like my mind just flew away and i was out of my body. beyond having such a fucked up weekend... it wasnt bad at all, just really out of the ordinary, im in the friend tug of war as usual.

when your mind tells you to run, your heart always tells you to stay.

i started working on this project for next year a couple weeks ago, and its a release of all things evil, and the dilema with the whole thing is exactly what i just said. the project itself is perfectly valid, but my heart is telling me to hold back. to see what my physical future holds, to deny a part of my visual future. a sign to retian words?

and as usual, i met another really cool person. someone who like most ppl is denying themself, hell i still am, but they also have a push for something greater which i thought was cool.

im most happy that i dont do drama anymore and just kinda smile at other ppls "drama" my theory about fear is sooo true... once u eliminte fear from daily situations you will set yourself free.

but theres always questions... mine are as follows
1)was this weekend a fluke?
2)is my work going to proove my point?
3)are the majority of friendships convieneve based?
4)when did producitive conversation die?
5)when does DELAM die out?

5/19/06 12:55 am - OHHH PEOPLE

Do you feel like your compromising? cause i do. Maybe i dont but i see it around me all the time. For example i know this girl that owns her boyfriend, not letting him to his own devices unless his devices include her. Yet at the same time, his friendships are based on parties and small talk. I cant say i dont owe him for being a good listener but thats when he had his own devices... by proximity of course.

then i know someone who listens yet contradits with late appologies. then its my fault for not allowing him to one of my parties. QUESTION: why am i the only one who has parties and why do my friends only get more friends because of me, is this town lacking personality and creativity?

but wait! ill just be disrespected by a friend and some random going at it in the next room? like i dont have ears.... i dunno i expect from others what i provide to them.

im ruthless now i wont deny it. Im quick to move on, highly decisive extremely expectant and tollerate little immaturuty... maybe ive become dull or old. which i dont think is the case, i just grew up and saw the joys of simple things. i see how easy it is to speak your mind and not think twice cause if someone cant handle the truth im wasting my time and they have a hard time looking in the mirror.

i miss school, where my friends dont piss me off, since when should frineds piss you off eh?
my long weekend, big bucks with jaye and work! some real excitment

5/8/06 06:58 pm

-St. Catherines Psychiatric Help Line, this is Nancy...

-Ummm...I'm not exactly sure how to go about explaining this...
What's been happening over the road...
You know, I've been kinda keeping correspondance to my parents for a while...
But I'm starting to get the feeling that...throughout (?) the letter writing process...
Like, uh...like, the letters, they just keep getting shorter and shorter...
And uh...I'm starting to get the feeling that...
That maybe one day all the letters will stop coming...all together
Maybe I'll start asking myself all kinds of stupid questions...

-...Like...like, what if there's, what if there's a spot on my body
You know to touch, like, by my heart, you know
You know, like, if we were to launch (?) rockets in space and it's like
What's the point of, like, my house and the next offices?
Like, you know, what am I supposed to do, you know?
I don't know, all these stupid questions going through my head, like, all the time
Like what if, I had some inoperable form of cancer in my brain, you know, I'm keepin' alive
You know, what if, what if there is a God and I'm completely in trouble, like?
You know...who am I kidding?
You understand what I'm saying?
It's not a joke, I'm not joking, not a joke

Who will dare to be irrational
Who will be there...
We're running out of options...
Who will be useful...
I'm going insane
I can't think anymore
I don't know what to tell you...
Do you see where I'm coming from?
See what I'm trying to say?
Do you see what I'm trying to tell you?

Who will be there to tell
Me how stupid I am?

Who will keep me from lashing out?

Ive been running these words through my head for the past 3 weeks straight, its torturing me, its making too much sense, its inspiring me for a huge body of work i want to dedicate to pain and addiction and mental illness. Its been quiet on the inside and screaming around me. im content, im confused and im confident as hell, its such an amazing place. Its substance free, my blood id boiling to do something anything, to hide socailly, for my work to be noticed, for people to stop hiding, to speak, to listen, for innnocene and to be provactaive all at once, that life is about difference not conformuity

raaaaandom

3/17/06 01:02 pm - jump

i think theres a big change on the horizon... this is fitting

There's only so much you can learn in one place
The more that I wait, the more time that I waste

I havn't got much time to waste
It's time to make my way
I'm not afraid of what I'll face
But I'm afraid to stay
I'm going down my road and I can make it alone
I'll work and I'll fight till I find a place of my own

[Chorus]
Are you ready to jump
Get ready to jump
Don't ever look back oh baby
Yes, I'm ready to jump
Just take my hand
get ready to jump

We learned out lesson from the start
My sisters and me
The only thing you can depend on
Is your family
Life's gonna drop you down like a limb from a tree
It sways and it swings and it bends until it makes you see

[Chorus]

Are you ready?

There's only so much you can learn in one place
The more that you wait
The more time that you waste

I'll work and I'll fight till I find a place of my own

It sways and it swings and it bends until you make it your own

I can make it alone [repeat]

2/20/06 02:44 am

1. My uncle once: could hold a spoom on his nose for hours
2. Never in my life have I: had sex!
3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile: calvin!
4. High School was: THE BEST!
5. When I'm nervous: move my eyes a lot
6. The last time I cried was: surprisingly, its been a while
7. If I were to get married right now: ill never be married. the end
9. My feet are: freakish
10. When I was five: i could write to 106
11. Last Saturday I: i painted byrons room
12. When I turn my head left, I see: a dallas green poster
13. When I turn my head right, I see: a hallway
14. When I look down, I see: my crotch
15. The craziest recent event was: seeing mark from 9th glen in hooters in TO
16. If I was a character on 'The Sopranos' I'd be: someone....?
17. By this time next year: I'll be making more pots
18. My favorite kind of tea is: iced tea
19. I have a hard time understanding: one particular person lol... still
20. One time at a family gathering: my grandma got plastered and wanted to make pies
21. You know I "like" you if: you dance
22. If I won an award, the first person (people) id thank is: my mom
23. Take my advice: dont try and steal emus
24. My ideal breakfast is: FRENCH TOAST!
25. If you visit my hometown: were going to the lake and emmas backporch
26. Where do you plan to visit anytime soon: ottawa/paris
27. If you spend the night at my house: wed drink dance and make sweet love
29. The world could do without: anderson cooper's journalism
30. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: watch obease people eat
31. Most recent thing you've bought yourself: chicken fingers at hooters
32. Most recent thing someone else bought you: cab ride from linda
33. My favorite blonde is: heather veska/karina
34. My favorite brunette/black is: yours truely
35. My favorite red head is: my least favourite red head
36. And by the way: i have a big penis
37. Last time you got high: a year ago this week, go me!
38. The animal I would like to see flying besides birds: camels!
39. I shouldn't have been: listening to the same song over and over
40. Once, at a bar/club: ohhhh dear.... i go asked to go home with a girl and 2 guys
41. Last night: i finished painting byrons room
42. There's this woman I know who: who changed my life
43. This guy I know: hes taught me a lot
44. My birthday is: august 23rd!

2/15/06 12:40 am

2 PARTS--- PART 1 stolen from HAMO
open ur i-tunes and do the following!

How many songs total: 727
How many hours or days of music: 2 days, 4 hours, 32 minutes, 43 seconds.

Sort by song title
First Song: "Hey, it's your funeral mama" -Alexisonfire
Last Song: Youth of the nation -P.O.D

Sort by time
Shortest Song: holding out for a hero- melissa o'neil LOL
Longest Song: ain't gonna give up on love -john mayer trio

Sort by album
First album: Act 1: Goodbye friends of the heavanly bodies- Neverending White Lights
Last album: Yellow Submarine- Beatles

Top Five Most Played Songs
1. Rhiannon- Fleetwood mac
2. Hung up- Madonna
3. Dreams- Fleetwood mac
4. Silver Springs- Fleetwood mac
5. Sara- Fleetwood mac

First song that comes up on Shuffle: Sweet home Alabama!

Search the following and state how many songs come up
Death - 17 (all dallas green aparently)
Life - 3
Love - 33
Hate - 1
You - 69
Sex - 2

1/28/06 02:31 am - They're never gonna find me now

Sooo, its been a long month. Ill begin with stating i hate january and will probably say so for february march and definately april. Im coming into the one year anniversary when my life went to the shitter. Its interesting to see actually, cause in some sense that marcel doesnt exist anymore, ive said it so many times, but ive changed so much... so ready to run and move on.

Weird things have been occuring lately... my body isnt being so pleasnt to me, but im dealing with it ok. But for some reason i have this hole... its the haunted soul in me, its telling me im in some way not fulfilled, who knows.

School as per usual is going great, 15 cylinders w/7 hours of glazing, 100 1" tiles, 10 pitchers, 5 cups and 10 bowls all in january! very intense! plaster molds have rocked it and firing kilns always rocks my world, other classes such as per usual but oh well.

ottawa next weekend?... painting byrons weekend after, studio tours, mohawk workshop, ROM, DALLAS GREEN CONCERT!, NORTH BAY!... far too much excitment for february and march!!

c'est tout

1/16/06 12:01 pm - happy birthday doctor king

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment and to underestimate the determination of the Negro. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights.

The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges. But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. we must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

We cannot walk alone. And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" we can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal." I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers. I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring." And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania! Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado! Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California! But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia! Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee! Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

12/31/05 07:45 pm - resolve this

my resoultion is to not go crazy and make a resolution i wont keep anyway, im gonna keep being harshly honest, my biggest wish for the new year is for others to see different perspectives and come to learn from them, to not be so stressed and pointless detail oriented-- to see the magic in simplicity.

.. i resolve to be me

12/18/05 05:49 pm - Kasia! I want to rant too!

ok, completly agree with kasia and see it all the time, i just laugh cause none of them will last anyway!!

my rant is completely different though, although still about friends.

say by some off chance you could read people like books and really never be all that wrong about someone. Maybe im a confontationalist but maybe im just disgusted by dishonesty or lack of social character. My closest friends are honest and open with me, we ask each other questions and expect rael answers and we get them. Cause really, why are you going to waste my time? i dont wanna waste yours.

Ill be the first to admit, along the way i didnt treat people well, i bailed on a million things and experiences i could have had with ppl. all because of that giant cloud that hung over me. When i think about it, im 19 years old, nothing should ever be complicated, theres never an im too busy or an im too tired, cause i could be too tired today and dead tomorrow.

I might quite often disagree with others standpoints on things, but thats human nature, ones personal values. I dont think i could ever force my values onto others, and if i disagree that strongly with someone, ill use my brain to talk with them about it, or keep my mouth shut. When does life result to insults and fists, progression not regression.

What ive never understood is peoples obsession with having to proove something. Im sometimes weak, scared and vulnerable, and why should i be afraid to let it show, cause someone might think less of me: fact is you have no idea what i think of you, so why judge?

i have friends and ex-friends who have taught me big lessons about what a person should be, and i may have become cynical about some things, but the only way you become a better person or find what it is you think your looking for is by searching. When was the last time anyone went out with a different group of friends, decided that life was more then taking a train to toronto for a different bar, it was more then saturday at the dickens or big bucks, seeing people we "want to get away from", when is the chic ever gonna be removed from smoking weed... or i only smoke when im drunk... (did anyone notice this is unrooted peer pressure at 19 years old).

I must say though, i have met some great people who have that spark in their eyes, who have lived experience. I also know some 23 and 24 year olds who have the biggest defences based in fear and ignorance who dont know the coin has another side... people who on the surface are amazing, who know good vs. bad but wont live it, cause they want it all at once... not realizing its not that easy.

what does ur hand hold... i think i have a queen of hearts, a 4, a 9, a jack(ass) and a 7

12/18/05 01:57 am - 2005- the year that changed my life

ohhh the year that was, kasia started this, then HAMO did a version, now its my turn. Slight point form of course cause details are just verbal puking.

January- Carleton U and some snow
-carleton visit #2- ohhh everything would change

February- too much intensity
-a sore wrist
-reading week

March- Uni dropout Marcel Rocheleau
-kicked out of jack astors

April- Worlds longest and most pointless fight begins
-passion is witnessed yet not realized
-Large despression begins

May-August- most intense parts of depression occur
-attend live 8 and visit ottawa
-apply to 14 colleges and universities
-kasias bday
-london visits

August- make a last minute decision to apply to for ceramics at sheridan
-get into sheridan
-have a great bday! (thanks kent and byron!!)
-OLP FINALLY!!

September
-begin to experience passion first hand
-start at sheridan
-meet the craziest ppl ive ever experienced!
-am able to be honest and open about everything
-open up a lot more to my friends about who i really am
-Visit ottawa!
-dive into religion

October
-Know for sure that although im still hurt due to fight- im ok
-get visits from the G
Crafties camping

November
-Shawn and Kat come to sheridan!
-Have a random crafts party
-Visit ottawa again!
-Get the job offer of a lifetime and say no :(
-show my teachers why im at sheridan
-great dinner with the adamos

December
-Make it out of first term alive
-relize why saskatchewan IS a cool province!
-make light of the "never ending fight"
-get what might be my most important tattoo

i dunno its been the worst year and the best year... wouldnt have it any other way

12/12/05 02:27 am - This ain't no disco- This ain't no country club... This is Burlington

The past 7 days have been... well wild in so many ways

V.PF (version point form 3.4...?)

-Glazing until i was madder then i've been in a long time
-Slight dissagreements with others, lol
-Inspiration for what could be the funniest/rudest shirt ever
-More galzing after that
-Emergency marcel is mad throwing... i made 2 bowls what will be a teapot
-SIDENOTE!- i just found a cookie
-NOT ATTENDING THE NELSON SKYDOME GAME :(
-CRAFT GATHERING- drunk upset ppl. oh hey! it wasnt me! a toboganning attempt, good late night chats with joel, consumption of 60 beers between... 4 of us?!
-seeing erin and kate and going to the movies!
-having a great week with byron and calvin!
-crazy talks with blair- that kids astonishing (i called him a kid, yes hes 22)
-flashbacks that were super intense

wow, just wow... cant wait for christmas, and next term... and my tattoo!

everyones been asking so i will inform u what it is!

its gonna be on the forearm, wrist to elbow... a cross and the 5 chinese symbols for thank you and passion... if u know me well enough u might think im stupid, but ill never forget how one day can change ur life, i want that memory forever, good or bad

12/2/05 02:18 am - 1/6th of the way there

So term one is over in 2 weeks and oh the things i have learnt in the past 3 months. For a period i thought would never end, it still bleeps in and out and has its moments. Its been a long time coming and a gazillion month fight, but i really only think about it weekly now, not with guilt or sadness but with intrigue, on how its changed me, how it afftected people around me... im happy he's happy and im happy im happy.

But what did these 3 months bring... i finally got my first hand look at passion. I could live in that studio and never get bored, i want to create, i love it more then anything. I fell hard for someone, and she is an amazing girl.. but all i could think of was how much i might hurt her and it scared me to death, god knows i love that girl. I dove into religion, not because i said oh hey ill become christian, but because it holds value in my life, so many of the things i believe in strongly have a place in religion. I challenged everyone to see things from another perspective, it didnt always end in jolly hugs, but it gave a new light to same old.

I met a group of people that layed heart and soul on the tabe right off the bat, with all the time we spend together, your gonna know people inside out... they have passed along to me yet another set of perspectives. Ottawa wasnt scary anymore, i didnt have any urges and i dont have to wear bracelets anymore, nothing left to hide right? I kept the links up and still talk to the boys everyday because they are it, i miss heather terribly and lets not even get started on how much i miss karina.

Simple things, like finding new music and new artists, ive always been inspired by the written word and people like dallas green and silverstien have been amazing influences. I watched good will hunting probably about 15 times, because it is my life and of course "it gets better" a story and a day that inspired me to go on, a nameless woman in the middle of nowhere that defines so much of what i've become.

what am i looking foreward to? going to more concerts, getting the whole drinking thing under control, seeing my friends over the holidays, making more pots!, the election and of course, winter, cold and snow!

11/27/05 10:24 pm

List ten things (in no particular order) that make you happy and then send to 5-10 other people:

The List-

1. Making Pots
2. The Crafties
3. Freinds/Heather Adamo
4. Fleetwood Mac
5. Live Bands at Bars
6. Paris
7. Ottawa
8. Honesty and the ability to forgive
9. Passion
10. Emus!

I choose
-Veska
-Whitney Price
-Kash
-Brenda
-Alix Kingston
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